The grief hit me yesterday and hit me hard. It took the form of an ache in my neck and shoulder. Although the physical pain is gone today, the emotional residue is still present. I'm feeling very "serious" and vaguely disappointed, without a known cause. And I am preoccupied, distracted, forgetful.
I need to pay attention to my grief, to engage in "good mourning" as my friend, Allan Cole, professor at Austin Seminary puts it. I've ordered a couple of extra copies of his book by the same name for us to pass around during this time of loss.
One of the most powerful things Professor Cole says in his book is that whenever someone we love dies, it brings back to us all the other losses we have suffered in our life. I think this is where that sense of preoccupation comes for me. I know I've lost, more than once, and I become, literally, scattered.
We all need time to collect ourselves after we lose someone we love. How long will this take? I don't know, but I am going to make an effort to listen extra closely to myself and to God during this time and to you all. I encourage you to listen and talk with one another, too.
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